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Motivation - The Drive of Your Life…

Each and every one of us has an internal desire to do something.

We all have a purpose in our life, a reason for doing what we do, even if they are things we don’t particularly enjoy as much.

So what is this internal drive? Where does it come from? And how do you regain it once it has been lost?

What is motivation?

This internal drive or motivation comes from our values and beliefs.

Values are those things that are important to us, the rules we live our life by and for. Whereas beliefs are that which we believe about ourselves, others and our world even though they are not necessarily based on fact.

Where does motivation come from?

Our values develop over time and come from our personal experiences, our parents, our teachers, our society, religion, politics, in fact anything or anyone who has been or is important in life. They form the foundation of how we make decisions, what actions we take and how we live life.

Our values can change over time, depending on where we are and what we are doing. So for example it maybe whilst we are young and single, earning money to spend on having a good time is most important, whilst when we are married with a family, they become more important.

Some of our values rarely change such as honesty and integrity.

Our beliefs are assumptions and conclusions, that we have taken as true at some level in order to form a framework to help us make sense out of our world. Beliefs are also at the core of how we build our futures and our expectations and we constantly find reinforcement that they are true.

Values and beliefs are core to the reason we choose to do what we are doing and whom we are doing it with. When life becomes intolerable, painful, boring, stuck etc the chances are that either or both these elements need to be looked at in detail, to find out whether what you are doing is appropriate for you. Whether it is against what you believe and is important to you, whether your values and beliefs have now changed or whether they are now outdated and need changing.

We are all driven by different things which stems from our own unique experiences, and why we want different things from life – the new job, the payrise, the holiday, the family, the perfect relationship etc.

How do you regain motivation, when it is lost?

Once you have lost your motivation or drive for life (or work, as this is where it tends to be noticed primarily) it can lead us into all sorts of problems such as stress, low spirits, depression, illness etc.

And this is where most people struggle, as they may not realise that what they are experiencing is a problem, and so “continue to carry on regardless”. They become aware that they are ‘stuck in a rut’, they are struggling to get out of bed in the morning, they are constantly feeling tired and/or poorly, stress levels rise, and they become grumpy and irritable, and then it dawns on them how unhappy they are.

And these signs are the emotion’s and body’s way of saying you are not living according to the rules and beliefs you hold and that something is wrong. The challenge is to then find out what is causing the problem.

This is where Relish People are able to help. Through our One:One sessions, we are able to help you clarify what is going on for you, and where appropriate practical exercises that can really make a difference to old and outdated beliefs that are no longer serving you.

We lead such busy lives, sometimes we go about our daily business as a matter of course, not giving it much attention, just reacting. Usually it is only when something major happens (redundancy, midlife crisis, relationship break down) that we are suddenly brought to life with a jolt, that we might start asking the questions that will allow us to take stock of where we are and just how much we are living our lives against the real us. That is when most people come to see us at Relish People and of course, we know that it is more about their relationship with themselves that is the real issue. They are not happy for a reason.

And the worse thing is this ‘state’ creeps up on us slowly and insipidly. The trivial and boring chores have to be done, and they get in the way of the things you would really want to do, painting, learning a musical instrument, starting your own business, taking time out with the children, spending time with your partner. Ever so slowly, things that are important to us, begin to take second, third, fourth place.

When we are living a life that does not match our values and beliefs, when we are no longer striving for something, we run the risk of getting into a rut, being miserable and becoming bored with what we do, where we are going or who we are. Life becomes a challenge, and we begin to find ourselves tired, stressed out or worse even ill.

So what can you do to regain your motivation and drive?

Well apart from calling us at Relish People, there are some simple things you could do immediately, right now, as soon as you can, the faster the better, that just might inspire you to get on and feel immediately better. Here are just a couple of tips to help you on your way:

Declutter – sometimes we end up being surrounded by ‘stuff’, which whilst we fool ourselves into believing we can ignore, actually can begin to make us feel bogged down. So do some clearing up and clearing out – if nothing else it will be great to have tidied up, and more importantly will have got some movement back in your life!

Plan – sometimes we are not motivated or driven to do something as we don’t like it, or we don’t really know what we have to do. Identify when you are at your best, and put a date in the diary sometime over the next week or two to just look at the task and decide what needs to be done. If it helps set a time limit And commit the next time you will look at it after that. You may surprise yourself and just get on and get it done!

Treat yourself – in order to get something done, or said, make sure you know what your reward will be, even if it is just to go and have a coffee. By saying something like “When I have done x, I will then allow myself to have a coffee break” maybe just what you need to focus your attention.

Give it to someone else – when we actively and regularly avoid something it is usually because we don’t enjoy doing it. Ask yourself whether there is someone else who can do it. If you are at work, maybe there is a trade you could do, as rest assured, the things you enjoy will be loathed by someone else! If at home, could you get someone in or perhaps see if another member of the family would do it. ‘Bribery’ is usually a good way to get something done!

No-one has to be unhappy all or most of the time. We do have a choice in how we lead our lives. If you have lost your energy and drive for life, it is key to understand what is important to you before you can even begin to make the changes you need to. By understanding what your values and beliefs are you will be able to set priorities and make life decisions, that can really begin to take shape your life in a way that just might lead to happiness.

If you are finding that your motivation has gone, or you are feeling stuck in a rut or you are bored or just thinking is this it?

This is where Relish comes in

As a result of a free one hour free consultation we will idenitfy the issues you are REALLY facing so you can make an informed choice on your options to move forward if you still want to.

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